I miss it

I watched a LOT of the Winter Olympics this year. It's been an amazing Olympics- the US broke the record for the most medals won by a country in any Winter Olympics ever, Vonn/Miller/White/Lysacek/Ohno


and a bunch of athletes we'd never heard of (Holcomb, Spillane/Demong, Wescott, Reutter, etc) all delivered, today's hockey game (though the result wasn't the one I wanted) was one of the best hockey games ever,

and the home country performed amazingly well, making for many medal ceremonies where you heard THOUSANDS singing "O Canada" together.

So I had an absolute blast following the events this year. And got really emotionally involved- right from the get go with the Georgian luger's death, and then later on with Joannie Rochette's heart-wrenching/inspiring skates to take bronze just days after her mom's sudden death.


BUT, despite how much fun I had watching, it was still a really really difficult experience. I just miss skating so much sometimes. And watching skaters I knew compete for two weeks definitely didn't help. Especially watching Mirai- I watched that girl grow up from when she was like 5 or 6, starting out skating. As fellow Japanese-speaking families at Pasadena Ice Skating Center, we got to know each other pretty well over those years. And it all just brought back so many memories from my skating days and remembering how badly I wanted to one day be a Winter Olympian, representing the US. At the time, I was still a Japanese citizen, so it was quite the far-fetched dream. Now, I'm three years into being an American, and absolutely loving my new home country. I SO want to be out there rep-ing the Red, White and Blue, and I'm not. I'm nowhere close. My figure skating days are long gone, I'm no longer an athlete, and it hurts.

But it's also been a great time to remind myself of why I'm beyond grateful of how things have turned out since quitting the sport. In the end, I know beyond doubt that had I stayed in the competitive figure skating world, my spiritual life would be lifeless to mediocre at best. It was because I quit skating that I got to move into an apartment at USC, where I roomed with Josh, an awesome Christian guy from Oregon. And it's because I lived with him, and had time to get involved on campus now that I wasn't skating, that I checked out Christian fellowships with him and found Campus Crusade. And it's because of friends I made in Crusade that I found and ended up joining Alpha Gamma Omega (eventually becoming Recruitment Chair, Pledgemaster, and then 2007 President). And it's through being Pledgemaster that I realized I wouldn't be satisfied unless my career allowed me to invest in people and help them grow closer to God (resulting in dropping my pre-med route). And it's through my involvement in Crusade and AGO that I discovered what it meant to be a MAN of God, and that through God, I had what it took to be one. And it's through my Crusade/AGO friends' encouragement that I went on Summer Project to Tokyo in 2007, and my life was completely changed. And it's because of my time on Project that I even considered ever going down the full-time ministry route, which eventually led to my Intern-ing. And it's through my two years of Inter-ing that I decided to join staff this summer.

On top of that, I wouldn't have met all the amazing people that I have in my life now. Best friends, co-workers, fraternity brothers, sisters in Christ, so many people whom I cannot imagine going through my last 6+ years here without.

It's all been amazing, and so much of it started with that decision to quit skating. So I praise God for leading me to that decision. Talk about Him having a plan and knowing what's best for me, huh?? :)

It's just that... right now,

I miss it.

R&R... kinda

Mid-semester break. Who knew I'd need it so badly? And who knew we'd have such a busy semester that we felt we needed our mid-semester break to be after week 6??

The point is, though, that I am thoroughly enjoying the few days off between last Friday's Shepherd Team meeting and tomorrow night's Cru weekly meeting. I've been trying to catch up on sleep, and have some good times of relaxation, and both of those are happening, but definitely not as much as I was expecting. More than anything, mid-semester break has turned into a nice time of being able to catch up on a lot of admin work I have to do, in a relaxed setting. So yeah, it's been awesome- just not what I was expecting.

See, we did 1200 spiritual interest surveys at the beginning of the semester, and have spent the first five weeks following up with the contacts we've received. It's been great! Lots of great spiritual conversations, as well as getting students involved with Cru. But it's been exhausting, especially since that's been on top of the normal Spring semester work I've had- discipleship (with Jared, Teddy, Trevor, Andrew, Nick, and newbie Brad- Eric is studying abroad), sophomore guys' Bible study, coaching GreekLife, staff training, and doing my best to keep up with this blog and newsletter updates. So when we got back from our (AWESOME) Spring Retreat last week, it was hard trucking through the next three days before getting this break. Thank You, Lord, for rest. It's no wonder why You created a Sabbath :)

So, yes, this break is much needed because of the semester we've had thus far. But we're also taking full advantage of this break because of what's coming up: Nick and I have less than three weeks until we take our team to the Dominican Republic for a Spring Break Mission Trip (LOTS of logistical prep for that), a week and a half after that trip, I'm flying out to Houston to be in a friend's wedding, two days later I am going on a week-long vision trip to do ministry with the team at the University of Hawaii at Manoa, then the next day I speak one last time at our weekly meeting, a week and a half later, we go on the Regional Staff Conference, and a week later we have our Fall Planning weekend. All while doing "normal" work. AND this week we are starting our 6 or 7 week-long process of creating next year's student leadership team. A lot goes into this process and we especially want to put a lot of attention into this because there will be so much turnover on the staff team next year that we want a SOLID student leadership base to help the new staff transition in.

So there's a LOT to be trusting God with right now. A lot of uncertainty in my life, a lot of uncertainty with USC Cru, and just a lot of stuff to do. But in all of it, I'm learning that I need to keep giving it all to God. It's easy to start getting into auto-pilot and just power through stuff like it's a checklist. But then you burn out. I want everything I do, and everything we do as a staff team, to be an overflow of our hearts as the Holy Spirit transforms us. It's an exciting Spring Semester- and we want it to be completely Spirit-led. Please do keep us in your prayers :)

I'm reading through Matthew and this morning got to 11:28-30... how very appropriate:
"Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light."
So here's to true rest! Not necessarily rest as in a total absence of activity- I'm not a fan of being idle and I don't think God is either. But a rest for our souls- a refreshing calm and security as we fervently and passionately live out the life He has called us to- in HIS power, in HIS strength, in HIS intimate presence.

Anticipation...

I just wanna know.
Everything is turned in, including all my references.
I just wanna hurry up and find out whether or not I'm accepted to Staff.

My buddy Jeff Pauls from UCSB (interned for two years- he was a 2nd year when I was a 1st) decided to join staff after a year away from interning, and he just came back on Sunday from Daytona Beach where he was at the support raising training part of Winter New Staff Training. Sounds like he had an awesome time, and looking at some of his facebook pictures from the week in Florida makes me so excited and antsy to go to Orlando for summer NST!

To be honest, it's a weird place I'm kind of sitting in- I love USC (no one could ever doubt that for a moment) and I so want to make the most of the last few months that I have here. But I'm also simultaneously SO excited for the next steps God has for me. My heart's really getting ready for moving forward with joining Staff, going to Florida, getting my placement, and getting going with MPD (ministry partner development/support raising) so that I can report to my new assignment.

My heart feels split. Half here, half there (wherever "there" is).
For now, all I can really do is trust in the LORD with all my heart and finish well here in the land of Cardinal and Gold.

Wait on Him, Gen. Just wait.

Il pleut

It's been raining a lot lately. Tuesday brought light hail, a downpour of rain, and even a couple of legit lightning/thunder combos!

AND, to top it all off, a spectacular rainbow.

Twitpic courtesy of my buddy Tyler (twitter: tylermiller5)

A lot of people in SoCal hate the rain, but not I. It's generally cold (which I love), it feels like we have seasons (which I love), and it cleans up the air to create some beautiful views (which I love).

Take, for example, this picture my friend Steve twitpic-ed from Downtown LA

(twitter: stevenmw8)

There's just something about the rain... It gets me all think-y and pensive. I even sat down at one point and wrote a poem about it the other day! Haha. Here it is. It's really more just freeflowing thinking on paper:

Il Pleut

What is this rain bringing?
Is it just water for our dry soil?
Hydrating nourishment for the California plant life?

No

It's bringing flooding
It's bringing to the surface how weak Socal's drainage system is
I mean, the rain isn't THAT bad.
It's like Japan- looking so put together and beautiful;
yet scratch the surface just a tad and you see the
emptiness
hopelessness
death
It's causing mudslides- threatening the poor homes of the foothills... AGAIN!
First the fires, now this... [eeyore voice]
Bet your $4-mill homes aren't feeling so secure now, eh?
It's uncovering the insecurity and inadequacy Socal drivers hide by overcompensating with aggressive/fast driving: we cannot drive in rain
Random traffic jams and accidents- that's what it's bringing
Pitter patter. Slick slick. Screech screech. CRASH!
Pitter patter. Swerve swerve. "**** you!" HONK!

What is this rain bringing?
Is it just hazards to scare us all?
A reason to not go out for fear of wetness, traffic, injury?

No

It's bringing a cleansing of our smog-browned sky
It's bringing a pure bright blanket of snow to our mountains
It's bringing an LA rarity- quality time
People choosing not to go out and do, do, do,
But instead staying in with fam and friends to BE
Time for hot cocoa and snuggies and chick-flicks and cuddling
Coats, rain jackets, rubber boots and parapluies
Emerge from closets where they've been collecting dust
It's bringing a coat of authenticity to people's countenances
After nine months hiding behind makeup and plastered smiles
After dressing to impress and snooting to put others down
The rain's misery brings together company
Birds of a feather, unable to look cute in soaked hoods and bold-colored ponchos,
now unafraid to smile at a social inferior, frown frankly for wet discomfort,
make eye contact with strangers (GASP) to commiserate with a chuckle,
perhaps even share a sentence or two, as they share a kind awning or benevolent umbrella
"...ella, ella, ey, ey..."
Ah, the beauty of a song shared by people cleverly referencing the lyrics
at every mention of this oft-forgotten protective friend
It's bringing an appreciation for the sun- normally taken completely for granted
It's bringing hope for a sunny tomorrow (though that "tomorrow" might not come until the weekend)
And just as this "tomorrow" begins to break through the gray,
The rain will bring a divine hope-
A celestial Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
"When I bring clouds over the earth and the bow is seen in the clouds,
I will remember My covenant that is between Me and you and every living creature..."
"The sun'll come out tomorrow!" It's coming
A new day. A new season. A clean slate.
After the discomfort and despair of wetness and the sunless sky,
will come a cleaner, brighter January
Socal's true, natural beauty on display for all to see

What is this rain bringing?
A recognition that there's Something much bigger
Something that can cause rain, snow, death, life
With just one Word

"Let there be rain"
et il plut
Tiens- il pleut. =)