I miss it

I watched a LOT of the Winter Olympics this year. It's been an amazing Olympics- the US broke the record for the most medals won by a country in any Winter Olympics ever, Vonn/Miller/White/Lysacek/Ohno


and a bunch of athletes we'd never heard of (Holcomb, Spillane/Demong, Wescott, Reutter, etc) all delivered, today's hockey game (though the result wasn't the one I wanted) was one of the best hockey games ever,

and the home country performed amazingly well, making for many medal ceremonies where you heard THOUSANDS singing "O Canada" together.

So I had an absolute blast following the events this year. And got really emotionally involved- right from the get go with the Georgian luger's death, and then later on with Joannie Rochette's heart-wrenching/inspiring skates to take bronze just days after her mom's sudden death.


BUT, despite how much fun I had watching, it was still a really really difficult experience. I just miss skating so much sometimes. And watching skaters I knew compete for two weeks definitely didn't help. Especially watching Mirai- I watched that girl grow up from when she was like 5 or 6, starting out skating. As fellow Japanese-speaking families at Pasadena Ice Skating Center, we got to know each other pretty well over those years. And it all just brought back so many memories from my skating days and remembering how badly I wanted to one day be a Winter Olympian, representing the US. At the time, I was still a Japanese citizen, so it was quite the far-fetched dream. Now, I'm three years into being an American, and absolutely loving my new home country. I SO want to be out there rep-ing the Red, White and Blue, and I'm not. I'm nowhere close. My figure skating days are long gone, I'm no longer an athlete, and it hurts.

But it's also been a great time to remind myself of why I'm beyond grateful of how things have turned out since quitting the sport. In the end, I know beyond doubt that had I stayed in the competitive figure skating world, my spiritual life would be lifeless to mediocre at best. It was because I quit skating that I got to move into an apartment at USC, where I roomed with Josh, an awesome Christian guy from Oregon. And it's because I lived with him, and had time to get involved on campus now that I wasn't skating, that I checked out Christian fellowships with him and found Campus Crusade. And it's because of friends I made in Crusade that I found and ended up joining Alpha Gamma Omega (eventually becoming Recruitment Chair, Pledgemaster, and then 2007 President). And it's through being Pledgemaster that I realized I wouldn't be satisfied unless my career allowed me to invest in people and help them grow closer to God (resulting in dropping my pre-med route). And it's through my involvement in Crusade and AGO that I discovered what it meant to be a MAN of God, and that through God, I had what it took to be one. And it's through my Crusade/AGO friends' encouragement that I went on Summer Project to Tokyo in 2007, and my life was completely changed. And it's because of my time on Project that I even considered ever going down the full-time ministry route, which eventually led to my Intern-ing. And it's through my two years of Inter-ing that I decided to join staff this summer.

On top of that, I wouldn't have met all the amazing people that I have in my life now. Best friends, co-workers, fraternity brothers, sisters in Christ, so many people whom I cannot imagine going through my last 6+ years here without.

It's all been amazing, and so much of it started with that decision to quit skating. So I praise God for leading me to that decision. Talk about Him having a plan and knowing what's best for me, huh?? :)

It's just that... right now,

I miss it.

R&R... kinda

Mid-semester break. Who knew I'd need it so badly? And who knew we'd have such a busy semester that we felt we needed our mid-semester break to be after week 6??

The point is, though, that I am thoroughly enjoying the few days off between last Friday's Shepherd Team meeting and tomorrow night's Cru weekly meeting. I've been trying to catch up on sleep, and have some good times of relaxation, and both of those are happening, but definitely not as much as I was expecting. More than anything, mid-semester break has turned into a nice time of being able to catch up on a lot of admin work I have to do, in a relaxed setting. So yeah, it's been awesome- just not what I was expecting.

See, we did 1200 spiritual interest surveys at the beginning of the semester, and have spent the first five weeks following up with the contacts we've received. It's been great! Lots of great spiritual conversations, as well as getting students involved with Cru. But it's been exhausting, especially since that's been on top of the normal Spring semester work I've had- discipleship (with Jared, Teddy, Trevor, Andrew, Nick, and newbie Brad- Eric is studying abroad), sophomore guys' Bible study, coaching GreekLife, staff training, and doing my best to keep up with this blog and newsletter updates. So when we got back from our (AWESOME) Spring Retreat last week, it was hard trucking through the next three days before getting this break. Thank You, Lord, for rest. It's no wonder why You created a Sabbath :)

So, yes, this break is much needed because of the semester we've had thus far. But we're also taking full advantage of this break because of what's coming up: Nick and I have less than three weeks until we take our team to the Dominican Republic for a Spring Break Mission Trip (LOTS of logistical prep for that), a week and a half after that trip, I'm flying out to Houston to be in a friend's wedding, two days later I am going on a week-long vision trip to do ministry with the team at the University of Hawaii at Manoa, then the next day I speak one last time at our weekly meeting, a week and a half later, we go on the Regional Staff Conference, and a week later we have our Fall Planning weekend. All while doing "normal" work. AND this week we are starting our 6 or 7 week-long process of creating next year's student leadership team. A lot goes into this process and we especially want to put a lot of attention into this because there will be so much turnover on the staff team next year that we want a SOLID student leadership base to help the new staff transition in.

So there's a LOT to be trusting God with right now. A lot of uncertainty in my life, a lot of uncertainty with USC Cru, and just a lot of stuff to do. But in all of it, I'm learning that I need to keep giving it all to God. It's easy to start getting into auto-pilot and just power through stuff like it's a checklist. But then you burn out. I want everything I do, and everything we do as a staff team, to be an overflow of our hearts as the Holy Spirit transforms us. It's an exciting Spring Semester- and we want it to be completely Spirit-led. Please do keep us in your prayers :)

I'm reading through Matthew and this morning got to 11:28-30... how very appropriate:
"Come to Me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light."
So here's to true rest! Not necessarily rest as in a total absence of activity- I'm not a fan of being idle and I don't think God is either. But a rest for our souls- a refreshing calm and security as we fervently and passionately live out the life He has called us to- in HIS power, in HIS strength, in HIS intimate presence.

Anticipation...

I just wanna know.
Everything is turned in, including all my references.
I just wanna hurry up and find out whether or not I'm accepted to Staff.

My buddy Jeff Pauls from UCSB (interned for two years- he was a 2nd year when I was a 1st) decided to join staff after a year away from interning, and he just came back on Sunday from Daytona Beach where he was at the support raising training part of Winter New Staff Training. Sounds like he had an awesome time, and looking at some of his facebook pictures from the week in Florida makes me so excited and antsy to go to Orlando for summer NST!

To be honest, it's a weird place I'm kind of sitting in- I love USC (no one could ever doubt that for a moment) and I so want to make the most of the last few months that I have here. But I'm also simultaneously SO excited for the next steps God has for me. My heart's really getting ready for moving forward with joining Staff, going to Florida, getting my placement, and getting going with MPD (ministry partner development/support raising) so that I can report to my new assignment.

My heart feels split. Half here, half there (wherever "there" is).
For now, all I can really do is trust in the LORD with all my heart and finish well here in the land of Cardinal and Gold.

Wait on Him, Gen. Just wait.

Il pleut

It's been raining a lot lately. Tuesday brought light hail, a downpour of rain, and even a couple of legit lightning/thunder combos!

AND, to top it all off, a spectacular rainbow.

Twitpic courtesy of my buddy Tyler (twitter: tylermiller5)

A lot of people in SoCal hate the rain, but not I. It's generally cold (which I love), it feels like we have seasons (which I love), and it cleans up the air to create some beautiful views (which I love).

Take, for example, this picture my friend Steve twitpic-ed from Downtown LA

(twitter: stevenmw8)

There's just something about the rain... It gets me all think-y and pensive. I even sat down at one point and wrote a poem about it the other day! Haha. Here it is. It's really more just freeflowing thinking on paper:

Il Pleut

What is this rain bringing?
Is it just water for our dry soil?
Hydrating nourishment for the California plant life?

No

It's bringing flooding
It's bringing to the surface how weak Socal's drainage system is
I mean, the rain isn't THAT bad.
It's like Japan- looking so put together and beautiful;
yet scratch the surface just a tad and you see the
emptiness
hopelessness
death
It's causing mudslides- threatening the poor homes of the foothills... AGAIN!
First the fires, now this... [eeyore voice]
Bet your $4-mill homes aren't feeling so secure now, eh?
It's uncovering the insecurity and inadequacy Socal drivers hide by overcompensating with aggressive/fast driving: we cannot drive in rain
Random traffic jams and accidents- that's what it's bringing
Pitter patter. Slick slick. Screech screech. CRASH!
Pitter patter. Swerve swerve. "**** you!" HONK!

What is this rain bringing?
Is it just hazards to scare us all?
A reason to not go out for fear of wetness, traffic, injury?

No

It's bringing a cleansing of our smog-browned sky
It's bringing a pure bright blanket of snow to our mountains
It's bringing an LA rarity- quality time
People choosing not to go out and do, do, do,
But instead staying in with fam and friends to BE
Time for hot cocoa and snuggies and chick-flicks and cuddling
Coats, rain jackets, rubber boots and parapluies
Emerge from closets where they've been collecting dust
It's bringing a coat of authenticity to people's countenances
After nine months hiding behind makeup and plastered smiles
After dressing to impress and snooting to put others down
The rain's misery brings together company
Birds of a feather, unable to look cute in soaked hoods and bold-colored ponchos,
now unafraid to smile at a social inferior, frown frankly for wet discomfort,
make eye contact with strangers (GASP) to commiserate with a chuckle,
perhaps even share a sentence or two, as they share a kind awning or benevolent umbrella
"...ella, ella, ey, ey..."
Ah, the beauty of a song shared by people cleverly referencing the lyrics
at every mention of this oft-forgotten protective friend
It's bringing an appreciation for the sun- normally taken completely for granted
It's bringing hope for a sunny tomorrow (though that "tomorrow" might not come until the weekend)
And just as this "tomorrow" begins to break through the gray,
The rain will bring a divine hope-
A celestial Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat
"When I bring clouds over the earth and the bow is seen in the clouds,
I will remember My covenant that is between Me and you and every living creature..."
"The sun'll come out tomorrow!" It's coming
A new day. A new season. A clean slate.
After the discomfort and despair of wetness and the sunless sky,
will come a cleaner, brighter January
Socal's true, natural beauty on display for all to see

What is this rain bringing?
A recognition that there's Something much bigger
Something that can cause rain, snow, death, life
With just one Word

"Let there be rain"
et il plut
Tiens- il pleut. =)

A SWEET End to 2009

Winter Conference is always a highlight. The fellowship is great, the speakers are almost always convicting, challenging and exciting, the worship is energetic and passionate,
and all the seminars and activities leave no room for lukewarmness or apathy. And this year, it was "extra super special" (Drop Dead Gorgous quote) for me because I got to serve on the planning team (see November 30 and December 18 posts) and was chosen to be the Emcee. Having these two roles made Winter Conference an ENTIRELY new experience for me, as I spent all day, every day, basically straight through from 730am to 11pm, in the ballroom either preparing for meetings, running meetings, or meeting with the planning team to tweak our meetings. So I had little to no interaction with my students, and it was definitely sad that I didn't get to catch up with many of my staff and intern friends due to my near complete lack of free time, but I wouldn't trade that experience for anything! It was SO rewarding to be on that side of Conference, and to watch God show up in marvelous ways to take over the main sessions.

Some pictures, and thoughts, to wrap up those four amazing days...

The first night of emceeing was probably the scariest. There was a LOT of info to go over, and it was my chance to build rapport with the students so that they would trust me to guide them through the week.

Well, I really couldn't have asked for a better night. My intro went really well, the students really got to understand what the conference was about, there was a GREAT and thought-provoking skit encouraging participants to bring hearts that are ready to encounter God,


the worship was joyful, and the speaker, James White, a pastor from North Carolina, spoke dynamically and passionately about the love of God to start off Conference.
Praise God that He completely took over after a lackluster, technical-difficulties-filled rehearsal, to give us a phenomenal first night.

Speaking of skits, this year's Winter Conference featured many more creative elements than in recent years. There was the first night's skit, then a skit about a prisoner who does not want freedom, which set the tone for the speaker who would talk about the scary parts of being "All In" for God,

a reader's theater piece about students contemplating going on missions, a cool, modified version of the "cardboard testimonies"(See an example of the standard ones here)

an AMAZING hiphop dance choreographed to show the beauty of the contagiousness of the Spirit-filled life,which set everyone up really well to excitedly go out into the city of San Diego and share Christ,

and a painting of Jesus and the empty tomb, done on plexiglass by two artists on stage, set to meditative music.

This one was particularly special, because the speaker had JUST talked about how we are each God's masterpiece, and had compared God's relationship with us to that of a painter with his painting. And during the whole performance, you couldn't tell what the painting was of, until they hit the very last stroke and went off stage, when many people's jaws dropped at the realization of what the painting was.

There were also cool testimonies.
On the first night, to start things off, JJ, a student from Chico State, shared his story of how God led him to go on a Winter Conference and how he accepted Christ there. It was such an authentic, powerful testimony!

On the second morning, we were highlighting ESM- Ethnic Student Ministries. These are CCC's branches that reach out to specific cultural groups, because we recognize that people of different cultures can often have different spiritual barriers and different styles of communication. Richard, from Long Beach State, shared how God called him to start a ministry for Latinos (Destino) on his campus. Many students felt encouraged and challenged to go start ESMs on their own campus, as God began breaking their hearts for specific cultural groups.

A man from Uganda, who was saved through being a Compassion, Intl-sponsored child gave his testimony of how an American girl "chose to live simply so that [he] could simply live" was heart-wrenching yet inspiring!

Leyla, the only staff person in the Dominican Republic, shared her story of how blessed she and her ministry were by the few students that gave up their summer last year to go on the very first Summer Project there.

Ben (ASU) and KC (Chico) shared their testimonies of how going on a stateside (US) Summer Project changed their lives.


Day 3 was what we call our "Day of Faith". After the morning session, the students all went out into different parts of San Diego to go share Christ with people they ran into- at the beach, at malls, at parks, etc. "Day of Faith" is often a student's first time doing evangelism, and so it's a really exciting (and sometimes scary) day for everyone. At the end of the day, we had students come up on stage and share cool stories from the day.

Some were stories about people praying to receive Christ, some were stories about a cool way God led them to talk to a certain person, and some were just about how students overcame lifelong fears and barriers to finally step out in faith and talk to people about God- all were encouraging, beautiful stories of God's awesome work!

Day 4 was New Year's Eve. After a fantastic morning session talk by Carrie Walker (a National Director for Campus Crusade),

students broke out into seminars that put a practical twist on the things they had been learning.

Some examples of seminars were ones on apologetics, sexual sin, being a spiritual leader, and breaking through barriers in sharing Christ with people of specific cultures (Muslim, Greek, Gay/Lesbian, etc). At night, Jamey Pappas (Campus Director at Cal Poly SLO)

gave a challenging talk about the Treasure in the field, and going "All In" for it. There was also a one-man skit (a REALLY cool one), done by Mike Berk (one of our Regional Directors) that was a modern-day version of the story of the man who sold everything he had for the treasure in the field.

At the end of Jamey's talk, there was a sweet opportunity for people to indicate their decisions to go "All In" for God by cracking glow sticks

and then going over to the walls of the ballroom to sign different posters indicating specific "All In" decisions like "I commit to reaching a specific people group on my campus" or "I commit to applying for a Summer Project this year".


It was a really cool sight, getting to look out over the room from on-stage and seeing all the glowsticks raised high. Hundreds of students made powerful, life-changing decisions through the Conference that night. Praise God!
After the meeting, the students split off into their last of three "Campus Connection Times" when they got to meet with students from their own campus to talk about what God's been doing in their lives through the week. This was the only Connection time I got to go to but it was so encouraging to hear about everything God was doing in the hearts of my Trojans!
Then it was PARTY time!

The annual New Year's Eve dance party went until the countdown, and from midnight til about 1:15, we welcomed in the new year with worship and prayer.
What a sweet way to end 2009 and start 2010!

There were also elements outside of the main ballroom like the coffee house where students could hang out, have open mic sessions, play games, etc.

But, unfortunately, I can't say too much about them because I didn't really experience them. But I hear they were GREAT! :)

I hope that gave you a glimpse of how awesome those four days were, and more importantly, how God showed up to rock the house and change the lives of students from around the region. It was absolutely exhausting but I couldn't have been more excited about the way things turned out. He is so good and I just want to thank you all for praying for the conference, supporting me so I could be part of something like this, and even the encouraging little texts, facebook wallposts, and notes you sent me as I emceed.

End of 2009- awesome.
Let's experience even more of God in 2010! Yes? Cool!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

The end of 2009 was absolutely incredible.
I got to spend the last 5 days of the year in San Diego with 700 students from the region (CA, AZ, HI), at the 2009 Winter Conference. It was phenomenal. I'll have to devote a different entry to it- because sooooo much happened. But I just wanted to say thank you SO much for all your prayers for it- we needed it, and it worked.

I'm so excited about 2010! There's so much coming up and once I get to talk about some of the highlights in my prayer letter, I'll write a post about it.

I'm sorry this is such a tease of a post. But I wanted to at least say something to start off the year.

So with that, here's to a blessed 2010!

Late Night Thinking Spree

It's past 2 in the morning, and I'm feeling wide awake. There's so much going on in my head!

Tonight, I received a folder full of creative notes/cards that my Project students from this summer

made for me! Apparently, Kylan organized it and got as many of our teammates as possible to send in cards and notes of gratitude for Heather and me for leading their Project. Matt Pfaff collected them and gave them to me tonight and every note was just SO encouraging and SOOOO humbling! The way God uses us without our knowing it is kind of unfathomably awesome... isn't it?? (check out my blog from Project here to read stories from Project/meet the team)

Then as I've been bumming on facebook, I've come across pictures of people who were in my life back in my high school/skating days. It's really weird to think about who I was back then, but it's also a fantastic reminder of the work God has done in my life to redeem and save me. It definitely hurts thinking about how I used to live my life, and it hurts even more thinking about the people I knew back then who are still living without the joy and hope I've come to know... but I praise God for His wondrous work of pursuing my heart til He had it, and for the transforming healing He's brought to it.

As I then continued bumming on facebook, I came to this completely separate realization:
I am SO excited about next summer! As far as I can tell, it seems that the Lord is leading me to join full-time staff with CCC, and that means that as long as I get accepted and God doesn't change my path, I'm spending next summer at Rollins College in Orlando, FL, getting trained! I hear it's a pretty phenom experience those 5 weeks. I mean, between getting the frosh dorm/dining hall experience with new staff from around the country, taking sweet seminary classes, and (hopefully) growing close to new people and even closer to the Lord, I'm sure it's gonna be GREAT. ON TOP OF THAT, it's a hop, skip and a jump away from DisneyWorld!
So this

will be happening a lot more! :)

I'd talk about how excited I am about the specific location I feel called to serve at next year as well (especially since I've been googling, google imaging, google maping, and even craigslisting the place this last hour or so), but I haven't even mentioned this stuff in any of my prayer letters yet so this seems an inappropriate way to announce it to my team of ministry partners :)
But that'll all come soon.

I should try to go to bed... But really, I've been soaking in the joy of the encouragement from reading the notes from my Project kids, reflecting on my past and praising God for His saving work as I consider my present, and getting excited about what He has for me next- how can you possibly expect me to be sleepy?? :)

(Having said this, I will probably fall asleep within minutes...seconds?... of when I lay may head down on my pillow. I have QUITE the gift of falling asleep)